I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
