in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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