I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
