I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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