What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
