Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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