i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
