I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
