When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
