I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
