Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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