I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
