youre lurking in front of me
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
