we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
