The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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