He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
