I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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