3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize