She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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