do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
