Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
