And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
