Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
