is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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