My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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