He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
