guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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