I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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