you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The Olympian is in my bed
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize