I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
