i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
