people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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