He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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