Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
