i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
