before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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