They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I love having hate sex.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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