I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
