butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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