Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
