Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
