I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize