my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
