We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
