She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
