I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
