this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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