did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
