I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
