Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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