does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
