'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize