normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
