whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
