Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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