CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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