my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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