Whod you bang
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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